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I’d like to share an important tool that  really works when it comes to singing with confidence.

What many people don't realize, is that having gratitude can actually help you sing better! When I discovered this truth about ten years ago, my ability to feel confident while singing in any situation improved dramatically. This is because when I thought about what I was grateful for, my nervousness turned into excitement and my voice became more open and free. Suddenly, since I was focused on what I had, I realized I actually had something to share, and that took the pressure off.

When we stand on a stage to sing, we are suggesting, "I am worthy of your listening time." The problem arises for most people because they don't feel worthy.  They feel like they are being judged and are in a place of lack. However, when we stand in place of gratitude, we are acknowledging what we have graciously received, which puts us in a place of worthiness, and yes, it will give you confidence!  Even if you just think about one thing you are grateful for before you sing. You are taking charge of what your mind thinks, and re-patterning your nervous system to do create a safe space from within, to sing from. 

Like everything I teach, the Breath of Gratitude is integrative, so the more you do it, the more you’ll be able to access the power of it when you really need it.

Watch this video above and try this before you sing and it will help you any time you need that extra boost of confidence. By acknowledging what you have in difficult situations, it takes your mind off of what is making your nervous – which is usually your fixation on the idea of a worst case scenario that hasn’t even happened yet.  Doing this exercise simply helps you do the opposite. You’re thinking of something that lights up your soul!  Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

Want to learn how to get your nervous system to stay present and calm when you sing? Get CORE Breathing Exercises, the perfect meditation guide for singers. 

Most singers may want to expand their vocal range, bridge the gap from chest to head, stabilize their larynx and sing with supported, natural power, but what’s important to remember is that none of these things can show up in their voice unless the conditions within them are favorable. In other words, no matter how capable and coordinated your vocal cords are, you’re not going to be able to show the confidence and power you want on the outside, unless you do something inwardly, at a core level, first. This is why many talented singers never find success.

In addition to a pleasing voice, singers need to have enough mental clarity and soul connection in order to tell a story, keep the interest, and move an audience with their presence. This skill doesn’t only come from practicing scale and songs technically–it comes from working with the entire instrument:  The mind, soul and body. That is what CORE Vocal Power, the system I created (after 20 years of performing, teaching and research), is all about.

What’s Scarier…?

Today, I’m asking you these questions: Is it scarier to show up in public with no makeup on? Or is it scarier to get onstage and sing from your CORE, expressing something internal and letting the whole world see that?  How are these two things the same?  How are they different?

What is Vulnerability?

The most powerful and effective artists are able to share and show their flaws – and to be “OK” with those flaws.  Experiencing this vulnerability explains why we love and connect with other people, because we are all human. What I’ve l learned from working with hundreds of students, is that we’re all the same inside.  We all have the basic need for people to like us and to like what we have to express.  But it takes a special quality to let go of wanting to be perfect.  And, we must be willing to let go. 

How to Access Your CORE Voice

Over the past several years, I’ve developed tools that make it so much easier for you to let go and sing with your CORE Voice.  Your CORE Voice is the sound of the true, authentic, powerful you.  It’s the voice you hear when you sing in the shower or when you’re by yourself, or even the way your voice sounds in your mind.  I teach my students how to find their CORE Voice and how to sing with it!

The Best Conditions for Acting, Singing, & Speaking

Most singers try to sing from the outside in: “I will be satisfied when I can get my voice to sound great!”  That’s like saying to your best friend, “I will only be satisfied with you when you’re perfect.”  But most of us know that nobody is perfect, so we’re willing to take people as they are and focus on what we like about them. Interestingly, we seem to have a much harder time doing this for ourselves. Yet it is our relationship to ourselves that has a direct affect on our vocal confidence.

What most people don’t realize is that your voice responds to the way you feel about it and the way you treat it. If you abuse your voice and secretly tell yourself, “You idiot, you did that wrong! Don’t screw this up!” then that will be the underlying theme of your message as you are singing, and you will likely create unnecessary tension and blocks in your instrument. Most people can’t hide their thoughts while they’re singing because our voice is an emotional vehicle (energy in motion), and singers need to take responsibility for all parts of it – not just the physical.

As human beings – and especially as singers, we all want to be liked and accepted, but it takes a special quality to let go of wanting to be perfect as you desire to share your message with the world. That process can be scary for many people. However, the most powerful and effective artists are able to share and show their flaws – and to be “OK” with those flaws.  Experiencing this vulnerability in front of others while we sing, and still being able to shine takes COURAGE. This is the quality that opens the door for our CORE VOICE to unfold, and that is what people fall in love with, because it’s real and authentic.

As a Vocal Empowerment Coach, I’ve created CORE Vocal Power, which helps performers to develop the courage, presence and trust, to surpass all of that negative inner dialogue and sing from that free, open place that emerges when you’re in alignment with who you really are. That might start when you’re alone in your room, or singing in the car or shower, but pretty soon, it becomes the consistent you, wherever you are. I’m teaching people how to tap into that place, how to find your CORE Voice and take it to a whole new level.

No one can give you the instant courage or confidence to be vulnerable when you perform. However, I’m teaching you how to access that part of yourself where courage and confidence live. From that solid foundation, you approach the vocal exercises and drills, the songs and the performance that will move you first and then your audience.

Singers!

Here is one of my biggest vocal training secrets for singing success that I have been using to keep my singers in shape for over three years! It’s the hula hoop, and recently 64 year old Grace Jones displayed exactly what I’m talking about live in concert.

Using the hula hoop, you can burn up to 100 calories in only 8 minutes, and on top of that, you’re gaining other very important benefits as a singer. In 2008, after using this on myself to heal an 8″ scar along my CORE and re-build my diaphragmatic muscles, I realized this valuable tool that costs as little as $7.00 could help singers tremendously – not just physically, but in two more very important levels.

1. THE MIND

The hula hoop teaches you how to get out of your head and stop trying to micro-manage yourself. It helps you trust your body and let your muscle memory kick in. This is important as a singer because you don’t want to be concentrating on what note to hit, but instead, to align with your Musical Intelligence. Using the hula hoop gets you more focused and present, a key quality that pro's need to deliver their peak performance.

2. THE SOUL

Doing the hula hoop gets you to connect to where you sing from. It’s the Solar Plexus area, or what I call CORE. As you feel the hula hoop stimulate this area and the 2nd Chakra, you literally put attention into your creative center and your power center, or the place that holds your self esteem. These areas are important to have in check as a singer, and the good news is, learning to hula hoop can actually help you feel better about yourself and awaken creativity.

The hula hoop teaches you how to treat yourself as a singer. You are developing the same “soul muscles” you use for singing when you use the hula hoop. For example, if you get upset for dropping it, you know you’re being too hard on yourself. Similarly, if you hit the wrong note, you stay in the game and Honor the Process. You learn how to get out of your own way and surrender to the flow of the song and “align” with the rhythm, melody and flow of the song. At times, this can take practice, patience and persistence. These three soul qualities are developed while hula hooping. Lastly, it is said that hula hooping can lift the spirit.

3. THE BODY

– gets you in your body, and out of your head. (More present=stage presence.)

– tones the body

– builds coordination

– builds stamina

– improved joint health

– burns calories

– improves flexibility of your spine

– builds aerobic ability

I’ve had singers who were too “in their head” when they sing, felt uncomfortable in their body, or just want to get in better shape or prep for a concert do the hula hoop, and they've had amazing results. Right away, it brings up their issues, if they have any. If they take themselves too seriously, they’ll find out pretty fast, and have an opportunity to work through it. Before you know it, they’re smiling, laughing and enjoying their instrument while they hula hoop! All of a sudden, singing gets a whole lot easier. I have different tricks I do with the hoop to work out the voice as well, but that’s something you need to come into the studio for and discover yourself! In the meantime, get a hula hoop and just have fun!

VOCAL TIPS:

Do vocal exercises and sing your song and hula hoop at the same time. Then sing your song without the hula hoop and watch how much more natural you feel as a singer.

Smaller, lightweight hoops are best to use for aerobic exercise, since they require more energy to keep the hoop rotating.

Valentine’s Day is a day when we’re expected to express our love and appreciation towards others, but when it comes to singing, it goes much deeper than that. Now is the perfect time of year to talk about something all singers struggle with: How to love their voice without looking conceited.

Most singers tell me, “Dot, I don’t want people to think I’m conceited.”  What happens over time, is that because the singer is afraid of looking conceited, she adopts a negative inner dialogue in her mind and eventually begins to believe the lies, resulting in a lower perception about herself that is not true.

The main problem with creating a reality like this, is that once we do so, we are no longer objective. (the “O” in CORE).  In most instances, we then become self-sabotaging. We begin to tap into negative emotions like doubt, fear, impatience and discouragement, all in the name of not wanting to be labeled conceited!  As a result, even if we are able to hit many notes and sing well, we don’t feel good about it and we’re not empowered as singers because we are creating and reinforcing dis-empowering neural-pathways in our brain. In simple terms, we can think of neural-pathways as “muscle memory” between the brain and nervous system.  In order for us to be empowered it is important for us to create positive muscle memory in our physical body, and our minds when we sing.

YOUR CONFIDENCE DEPENDS ON YOUR INNER DIALOGUE

Surprisingly, over the past 24 years of working in the music industry, I have noticed one thing in common with more than 90% of singers: None of them are OBJECTIVE. In other words, they’re not able to observe themselves without judgement or bias.  This is because science shows our brains are naturally wired to notice the negative. Notice how you think after you sing. Do you usually think, “Oh, that was amazing. My pitch was on, and I felt like I was just great!” Or do you usually say, “Dang. I could have done that better. I forgot the lyrics on that part and…”

You know the story. Unfortunately, this lack of “objectivity” and only focusing on the negative leads to a stream of problems along the road of dis-empowerment. Unlike playing a sport, singing is directly connected to your emotions, so if you tell yourselves you’re terrible, it will affect the underlying current of how you sound. On the other hand, if you really are a struggling singer, you want a truthful idea of where you stand.

The question is: how do you become objective?

3 WAYS TO BECOME an OBJECTIVE SINGER

1.  Record yourself singing.

If you’re the kind of person who usually listens to and belittles yourself while singing, let the recorder be your ears, and when you listen back, notice what you LIKE ABOUT YOUR VOICE. Chances are, you’ve already tried noticing what you don’t like. Is that working for you? When you hear what you don’t like, don’t judge it. Just notice it and trust that it will get better with your practice, practice and positive persistence.

Adopt this empowering behavior during your vocal practice and always balance your practice in two ways:

a) Get the vocal technique correct (left brain – physical muscle memory)
b) Surrender to the feeling and message (right brain – mental/emotional muscle memory)

2.  Seek advice from an non-relative expert .

Getting advice from a family member doesn’t always cut it.  In most cases, they will either rip you to shreds because they know you, or tell you that you are incredible, because they know you. Either way, it’s best to go to someone who does NOT know you, but knows how to recognize your talent in an objective way. From this expert, you can learn how to KNOW your voice and become objective.

3.  Practice Authentic Self Love.

This is the key ingredient to empowered singing, and the hardest for most people to do. If you can give yourself “permission to be who I am NOW” (Dot’s Peaceful Agreement #1) and simply love who you presently are, then you will feel safe enough to face the parts of your voice that are great, AND the parts that are not so great. From this OBJECTIVE space, you can build your voice without falling into the self-sabotaging traps that many singers do fall into. If you are truly confident, people will not accuse you of being conceited, because you are authentically aligned with who you really are. A person who is authentic is respected.

Most of us have to work hard to get to the place where we feel that authentic self love on the inside. Once we feel this, we create positive neural-pathways in our brain that support empowered vocal practice and a powerful performance.

It’s easy to talk about how we “should” be, but it’s a whole new thing to put to practice.  My challenge to you, in order to help you have a more objective perspective about your voice and fall in love with it, is that beginning NOW, write down three things you love an appreciate about yourself every morning for the next 30 days in your CORE Vocal Power Journal.  Learn to make friends with the parts of yourself that aren’t perfect, and watch what happens the next time you need to perform!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

One of the most popular questions my students ask me, is how to warm up their voice so they do not hurt themselves. There are many techniques a person can do, including the exercises in my CORE Vocal Power Bundle, but if you want to get the most out of your vocal warm ups, the location of where you sing is also an important factor to consider.  Oftentimes, singers are afraid that other people will hear them when they practice. If you think about it, that kind of fear is ironic, because eventually, you want people to hear you sing – right?  Being outside is great because most people won’t be paying much attention to you but they will still be in your vicinity.

When it comes to warming up your voice, it’s important to consider your whole instrument [MIND, SOUL, BODY] which means your vocal technique, and also what your MIND is thinking and how comfortable you feel in your SOUL.  Most people don’t practice the latter two, yet when it boils down to it – you could learn the best vocal exercises the world has to offer and practice them daily with diligence, but if you are not comfortable in the present moment with yourself, feel too sensitive around other people’s energy, or are afraid to come out of your shell, then it won’t matter.

I’d like to share 3 unique tips with you that will help you warm up in the most beneficial ways, which will build your stage presence, power and stamina.

1. HAVE FUN WHEN YOU PRACTICE AND DON’T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY!

In the video above, I’ve got a scarf around my head and I’m doing something I enjoy – riding a bicycle!  Even though there are people around me, I don’t care because I’m having fun, and allowing myself to just be me while I do my favorite goofy looking vocal exercise – LIP TRILLS! I’m actually practicing feeling comfortable in a public setting, and guess what – it’s building my confidence and helping me to realize we’re all in it together as we all ride down the same path. What a great low-risk healthy way to practice building stage presence!  I’m not just visualizing performing, or thinking about it, I’m out and about with people, doing it in public. Yep.

2. SING OUTSIDE AND ENJOY NATURE

Have you ever been to a concert outside, or performed outside? It’s much different from singing inside, isn’t it? You can’t hear yourself as well and there is so much more stimuli to distract you.  That means, if you practice outside, you have to show up more in your own energy, embody your tone more [which means you may need to be more grounded and sing louder] and develop better focus.  In addition, if it’s sunny you can increase your endorphins and serotonin in the brain while getting some awesome physical exercise. [Fair ones, remember your sunscreen].  Performing indoors on a stage is like a piece of cake once you overcome the challenges of practicing outside, and grow from the benefits.

3. MULTI-TASKING SINGING WITH A GENTLE PHYSICAL EXERCISE CAN HELP YOU TRUST YOUR VOICE MORE AND GET YOU OUT OF YOUR SHELL

You may have seen my hula hoop video in the past, encouraging singers to burn calories while they sing.  Hula hooping for 8 minutes allows you to burn the same amount of calories as running or walking 1 mile.  Riding a bicycle is also great because it builds muscle tone and stamina. It also reduces stress. I don’t think I know of a performer who doesn’t need more stamina and less stress!  And when you sing at the same time as you gently work out, you’re not so focused on your voice, and being perfect, which actually allows more freedom in your instrument, less tension, and more of a chance to do it right!  You’re naturally developing the wiring you need to become a confident performer.

Putting it to practice:  In a perfect world, I would recommend you warm up and/or practice for precision and use a mirror when needed about half of the time, until you know you are doing the exercises safely. Then, I would recommend you spend the other half of the time singing outside, enjoying your connection to yourself, nature and other people.  Once you become masterful at warming up, you can spend more time outside in the sun!  Remember, a minimum of 15 minutes per day for a vocal warm up. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

If you missed the previous articles check out Part 1 and Part 2

THE TOP 3 REASONS SINGERS MISS THE NOTE…

I mentioned in Part 1 that if you think it’s simply the fact that you’re not supporting your airflow correctly, or your ear is “bad”, you may only be partially correct, and that physical issues are the least common reason for being “pitchy.”

Reason #3 - Trying to control your voice, thus taking you out of the present moment.

Reason #2 - Not knowing the song as well as you thought.

This reason for being off pitch is more common than most people would imagine.  I’m not just advising you to learn the notes of the song, I’m saying you need to KNOW it. That means you need to memorize it so well, you’d be able to sing it in your sleep!  It means you could listen back to the instrumental  track and know exactly where you are in the song at any given moment. When you sing something over and over again, you get the muscle memory of that song imprinted not only in your voice, but in your MIND!

Oftentimes, singers think they know a song because they listened to the singer sing it over and over again. This alone doesn’t work for most people if they want solid memorization. Listening to a singer and being able to sing it without their voice underneath yours is a whole different story.  You not only need to memorize the words and melody, but you need to be able to recall every note in the song perfectly, as it was written.

10 Steps  for learning and knowing a song:

1. Print the lyrics
2. Listen to it entirely several times and sing it along with the artist while looking at the lyrics
3. Listen to the first verse and sing along with it while looking at the lyrics over and over until it is perfected.
4. Sing the verse to an instrumental track without looking at the lyrics and record it on a device such as your phone
5. Listen back on your phone to ensure it is correct
6. Repeat several times any specific problem areas you are singing wrong. If it is one line, repeat this over and over until it is perfected. First use the lyrics, then do it without so your brain can have a mental image of the lyrics
7. Repeat step 3-6 for rest of each song section [chorus, bridge, etc]
8. Once you have memorized each section, start singing verse one and add verse two… and so on, until the whole song is memorized.
9. Sing the entire song with an instrumental track and record.
10. Listen to the recording and make necessary changes.

As you learn more songs, the process gets easier to memorize them because you build new neural pathways in your brain to support memorization. [At least, that’s my oversimplified way of explaining it.] You may need to literally sing a song 100 times or more to get it into your muscle memory at first.

Professionals are required to learn songs very quickly – sometimes in less than 24 hours depending on the job, so your ability to repeat and let your Musical Intelligence do it’s thing, is very important. That is why Part 1 and 2 of this article are so important, because they explain the “how” behind the “what” of singing.

Reason #1 - Listening to Yourself While You Sing

This might come as a surprise to many. Most people think they need to listen to themselves to monitor how they sound.  However, nine times out of ten, the reason people sing the wrong note isn’t because they can’t hear themselves, it’s because they are listening to themselves!  Be mindful that there is a huge difference between listening to yourself, and hearing yourself.  Of course when you sing, you’re going to hear what you are doing, but a very large percentage of people who make an effort to listen intently to themselves when they sing, will go off pitch. This is for many reasons. The main reason is because they are not letting the voice align naturally to the correct vibration of the sound. Believe it or not, it’s actually harder to sing it wrong than it is to sing it right. Science has proven this–even with tuning forks. When we strike a tuning fork, another tuning fork of the same pitch will begin to vibrate with the first fork. This is because of sympathetic resonance. If a piece of steel naturally follows these universal laws, you had better bet, you are capable of this as well.

If you are trying to listen to yourself while you sing, you’ve got it all wrong. Imagine if while you were talking, you paid attention to the actual pitch [how high or how low] each note was that you spoke and analyzed your voice while you were talking.  Do you think it would sound natural? Do you think it would drive you crazy? It sounds absurd when we relate it to speaking, but this is the silly game many people play with themselves for a number of reasons described previously in this article-mainly in Part 2, when they sing.  Are you beginning to see how much your mind and soul influence the sound of your voice?

The good news is, if you can get your mind to be clear and present while you sing, you feel  enough peace inside to have a free open voice, then with this sort of energy, you will be able to achieve just about anything vocally. Yes you will need to practice, yes, you will need to learn proper technique, etc, but what I’m sharing here is what so many people overlook – it’s the “how” under the “what” of singing. If it’s hard to understand, or you struggle with getting a mind that is clear, you can read my book, Breathe into Your Power, and also do my CORE Breathing Exercises which will give you the clarity and presence you need to stay on pitch!

In summary, hitting the right notes is mostly a MIND issue that can be improved through proper training, but as a singer, your first responsibility is to know yourself, develop a positive relationship with your voice by realizing you are not a victim of what it does, but that your voice is responsive to what you think and feel.  Please tell me about your experiences with these suggestions via email or on our Facebook wall. Thank you.