May Thanksgiving day, and every day be a day of gratitude, not just for what you have, but for your gift of YOU to yourself. You are unique. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are exactly who you need to be right now in this moment or you wouldn't be. Today, I'm grateful to be who I am right now! That's my affirmation because I often feel like I should be somewhere else, someone else or should have accomplished more by now. I don't like how that feels. It doesn't help me sing any better either, because how we feel inside about who we are is always reflected through our voice, no matter how much talent and training is there.
Today I'm breaking the popular mold, and giving myself thanks, and my voice, and then my family and friends and then everything else, because I'm finally realizing, the relationship I have with myself, has a direct impact on my entire life, my perceptions and yes, my voice. I FULLY LOVE AND EMBRACE EXACTLY who I AM NOW. Will you join me in embracing yourself? What would happen if we all decided to embrace who we are in this moment? I like how that feels!
EXERCISE: I invite you to look in the mirror, into your own eyes and say, “I’m grateful for who I am right now.” Feel into that statement. Notice how true it feels - or doesn’t feel. Let it all be ok. Be a bigger space for any feelings to emerge within yourself and acknowledge them. You might feel like, “Who I am isn’t ok because I haven’t achieved everything I want to achieve” or “I have made the same mistake over and over.” or, “It would be easier to be grateful about me if I had x, y and z under my belt, or could do x, y and z better.” Whatever comes up for you, be a space for that to be ok as well. The greatness that is in you, is waiting for you to fully accept you in this PRESENT MOMENT, because this present moment is all there is.
Learn 3 EMPOWERING STEPS TO CREATING YOUR MAGIC THIS YEAR, and how to word your goals to match your alignment and motivate you to fulfill them! PDF worksheet download included
Have you ever been in a situation where you were singing, and even though you had practiced a million times at home, when you got up in front of someone else, your voice started to shake uncontrollably and left you feeling cheated?
I’d like to share an important tool that really works when it comes to singing with confidence.
What many people don't realize, is that having gratitude can actually help you sing better! When I discovered this truth about ten years ago, my ability to feel confident while singing in any situation improved dramatically. This is because when I thought about what I was grateful for, my nervousness turned into excitement and my voice became more open and free. Suddenly, since I was focused on what I had, I realized I actually had something to share, and that took the pressure off.
When we stand on a stage to sing, we are suggesting, "I am worthy of your listening time." The problem arises for most people because they don't feel worthy. They feel like they are being judged and are in a place of lack. However, when we stand in place of gratitude, we are acknowledging what we have graciously received, which puts us in a place of worthiness, and yes, it will give you confidence! Even if you just think about one thing you are grateful for before you sing. You are taking charge of what your mind thinks, and re-patterning your nervous system to do create a safe space from within, to sing from.
Like everything I teach, the Breath of Gratitude is integrative, so the more you do it, the more you’ll be able to access the power of it when you really need it.
Watch this video above and try this before you sing and it will help you any time you need that extra boost of confidence. By acknowledging what you have in difficult situations, it takes your mind off of what is making your nervous – which is usually your fixation on the idea of a worst case scenario that hasn’t even happened yet. Doing this exercise simply helps you do the opposite. You’re thinking of something that lights up your soul! Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
Want to learn how to get your nervous system to stay present and calm when you sing? Get CORE Breathing Exercises, the perfect meditation guide for singers.
Most singers may want to expand their vocal range, bridge the gap from chest to head, stabilize their larynx and sing with supported, natural power, but what’s important to remember is that none of these things can show up in their voice unless the conditions within them are favorable. In other words, no matter how capable and coordinated your vocal cords are, you’re not going to be able to show the confidence and power you want on the outside, unless you do something inwardly, at a core level, first. This is why many talented singers never find success.
In addition to a pleasing voice, singers need to have enough mental clarity and soul connection in order to tell a story, keep the interest, and move an audience with their presence. This skill doesn’t only come from practicing scale and songs technically–it comes from working with the entire instrument: The mind, soul and body. That is what CORE Vocal Power, the system I created (after 20 years of performing, teaching and research), is all about.
What’s Scarier…?
Today, I’m asking you these questions: Is it scarier to show up in public with no makeup on? Or is it scarier to get onstage and sing from your CORE, expressing something internal and letting the whole world see that? How are these two things the same? How are they different?
What is Vulnerability?
The most powerful and effective artists are able to share and show their flaws – and to be “OK” with those flaws. Experiencing this vulnerability explains why we love and connect with other people, because we are all human. What I’ve l learned from working with hundreds of students, is that we’re all the same inside. We all have the basic need for people to like us and to like what we have to express. But it takes a special quality to let go of wanting to be perfect. And, we must be willing to let go.
How to Access Your CORE Voice
Over the past several years, I’ve developed tools that make it so much easier for you to let go and sing with your CORE Voice. Your CORE Voice is the sound of the true, authentic, powerful you. It’s the voice you hear when you sing in the shower or when you’re by yourself, or even the way your voice sounds in your mind. I teach my students how to find their CORE Voice and how to sing with it!
The quality that each of us needs to possess in order to express our Core Voice is COURAGE. Not the courage to be brave enough to sing, but the courage to let go of the desire to be perfect, to let go of the desire to be in control. Courage to just be who you are and to share it from your CORE, with the world. It’s a bare feeling, of sorts, but after a while, you get used to it and before you know it, singing a song becomes your greatest, most empowering journey – in any situation. This level goes beyond sounding great – I want you to feel great too!
No one can give you courage or confidence, but I CAN teach you to tap into the part of yourself where they live! I can help you open the door within yourself to access these attributes. The door is found in your CORE, from where your vocal power emerges. But how to get there?
The Best Conditions for Acting, Singing, & Speaking
Mind: Present and Clear
Soul: Feels Comfortable to Experience and Express
Body/Voice: Free and Flexible; Safe
Most singers try to sing from the outside in: “I will be satisfied when I can get my voice to sound great!” That’s like saying to your best friend, “I will only be satisfied with you when you’re perfect.” But most of us know that nobody is perfect, so we’re willing to take people as they are and focus on what we like about them. Interestingly, we seem to have a much harder time doing this for ourselves. Yet it is our relationship to ourselves that has a direct affect on our vocal confidence.
What most people don’t realize is that your voice responds to the way you feel about it and the way you treat it. If you abuse your voice and secretly tell yourself, “You idiot, you did that wrong! Don’t screw this up!” then that will be the underlying theme of your message as you are singing, and you will likely create unnecessary tension and blocks in your instrument. Most people can’t hide their thoughts while they’re singing because our voice is an emotional vehicle (energy in motion), and singers need to take responsibility for all parts of it – not just the physical.
As human beings – and especially as singers, we all want to be liked and accepted, but it takes a special quality to let go of wanting to be perfect as you desire to share your message with the world. That process can be scary for many people. However, the most powerful and effective artists are able to share and show their flaws – and to be “OK” with those flaws. Experiencing this vulnerability in front of others while we sing, and still being able to shine takes COURAGE. This is the quality that opens the door for our CORE VOICE to unfold, and that is what people fall in love with, because it’s real and authentic.
As a Vocal Empowerment Coach, I’ve created CORE Vocal Power, which helps performers to develop the courage, presence and trust, to surpass all of that negative inner dialogue and sing from that free, open place that emerges when you’re in alignment with who you really are. That might start when you’re alone in your room, or singing in the car or shower, but pretty soon, it becomes the consistent you, wherever you are. I’m teaching people how to tap into that place, how to find your CORE Voice and take it to a whole new level.
No one can give you the instant courage or confidence to be vulnerable when you perform. However, I’m teaching you how to access that part of yourself where courage and confidence live. From that solid foundation, you approach the vocal exercises and drills, the songs and the performance that will move you first and then your audience.
Have you ever wondered why your voice sounds different depending on what note you’re singing? Perhaps you’ve heard the term “vocal break” and you wonder exactly what it means. In my video, How to understand your three main vocal registers, I explain these important concepts for all singers, speakers and actors to know. But first, here’s a quick…
Overview of what happens in our vocal folds when we sing:
Our vocal cords are fleshy flaps made out of air and muscle which undulate as we sing. As a singer we want to filter the air evenly from low notes to high notes. The faster the vocal folds undulate, the higher the note. They vibrate between 200 to 2,200 times per second depending on the pitch of the note. As notes get higher, the cords start to unzip and you need less air but more support.
VOCAL REGISTERS
In the above video, I share a painting which illustrates the 3 vocal registers through color. The painting blends from red to blue through a section of purple, each color representing a vocal register. Here’s more about each register:
Chest Voice
Vocal cords vibrate along their full length (like the long thick strings of a piano). It feels like it resonates at the top of your chest, and this area can handle more air.
Average Women: F below middle C to about B flat above middle C
Average Man: Low E of F (below low C) up about 2 octaves
Where you feel most Resonance: In the chest
Middle Voice (Mask area)
Dampening occurs where a kind of zipper effect closes off about 50% of one end of the cords. The vibration partially leaves the chest area and moves closer to the area just behind your nose and eyes. This air in the sinus area feels like a buzz, and this area can handle less air.
Average Women: High C to about E or F
Average Man: E or F above middle C to about B flat or natural
Where you feel most Resonance: behind the eyes (mask area)
Head Voice
The zipper now closes, about 1/3 of vocal chords are vibrating, more of a buzz, edge and vibration as chest, middle voice, but you feel it behind your eyes, nose and the highest reaches of your sinuses. This area requires even less air.
Average Woman: above high E or F
Average Man: above high C
Where you feel most Resonance: In the head
A lot of people confuse head voice with falsetto, but they are not the same thing. Falsetto uses just the edge of your vocal cords, whereas head voice uses around 30 percent of the cords.
Why understanding vocal registers is important.
My goal in explaining the three main vocal registers is to give you an awareness of what you’re doing, so you can practice your exercises with right kind of mental attitude.
Are you completely free and present when you sing? Or is there something stopping you? Do you have beliefs or thoughts like “I can’t hit high notes” or “my head voice is wrong”? If so, try practicing while thinking about the energy or feeling you want to convey. This will sharpen your mind while you sing instead of just focusing on the high notes. If you are afraid of hitting high notes, the fear alone could cause your body to become too tense and stop you from hitting the note – even if your cords have the right coordination.
That’s why it’s so important to know that vocal exercises only address one part (a third) of your whole instrument. It’s essential to understand your inner mental dialogue and the feelings that are coming up for you while singing. C.O.R.E. Vocal Power® is a program for vocal mastery which addresses these thoughts and feelings and helps you improve your whole instrument.
Share your experience with us via email or on our Facebook wall. Thank you.
Here is one of my biggest vocal training secrets for singing success that I have been using to keep my singers in shape for over three years! It’s the hula hoop, and recently 64 year old Grace Jones displayed exactly what I’m talking about live in concert.
Using the hula hoop, you can burn up to 100 calories in only 8 minutes, and on top of that, you’re gaining other very important benefits as a singer. In 2008, after using this on myself to heal an 8″ scar along my CORE and re-build my diaphragmatic muscles, I realized this valuable tool that costs as little as $7.00 could help singers tremendously – not just physically, but in two more very important levels.
1. THE MIND
The hula hoop teaches you how to get out of your head and stop trying to micro-manage yourself. It helps you trust your body and let your muscle memory kick in. This is important as a singer because you don’t want to be concentrating on what note to hit, but instead, to align with your Musical Intelligence. Using the hula hoop gets you more focused and present, a key quality that pro's need to deliver their peak performance.
2. THE SOUL
Doing the hula hoop gets you to connect to where you sing from. It’s the Solar Plexus area, or what I call CORE. As you feel the hula hoop stimulate this area and the 2nd Chakra, you literally put attention into your creative center and your power center, or the place that holds your self esteem. These areas are important to have in check as a singer, and the good news is, learning to hula hoop can actually help you feel better about yourself and awaken creativity.
The hula hoop teaches you how to treat yourself as a singer. You are developing the same “soul muscles” you use for singing when you use the hula hoop. For example, if you get upset for dropping it, you know you’re being too hard on yourself. Similarly, if you hit the wrong note, you stay in the game and Honor the Process. You learn how to get out of your own way and surrender to the flow of the song and “align” with the rhythm, melody and flow of the song. At times, this can take practice, patience and persistence. These three soul qualities are developed while hula hooping. Lastly, it is said that hula hooping can lift the spirit.
3. THE BODY
– gets you in your body, and out of your head. (More present=stage presence.)
– tones the body
– builds coordination
– builds stamina
– improved joint health
– burns calories
– improves flexibility of your spine
– builds aerobic ability
I’ve had singers who were too “in their head” when they sing, felt uncomfortable in their body, or just want to get in better shape or prep for a concert do the hula hoop, and they've had amazing results. Right away, it brings up their issues, if they have any. If they take themselves too seriously, they’ll find out pretty fast, and have an opportunity to work through it. Before you know it, they’re smiling, laughing and enjoying their instrument while they hula hoop! All of a sudden, singing gets a whole lot easier. I have different tricks I do with the hoop to work out the voice as well, but that’s something you need to come into the studio for and discover yourself! In the meantime, get a hula hoop and just have fun!
VOCAL TIPS:
Do vocal exercises and sing your song and hula hoop at the same time. Then sing your song without the hula hoop and watch how much more natural you feel as a singer.
Smaller, lightweight hoops are best to use for aerobic exercise, since they require more energy to keep the hoop rotating.
Valentine’s Day is a day when we’re expected to express our love and appreciation towards others, but when it comes to singing, it goes much deeper than that. Now is the perfect time of year to talk about something all singers struggle with: How to love their voice without looking conceited.
Most singers tell me, “Dot, I don’t want people to think I’m conceited.” What happens over time, is that because the singer is afraid of looking conceited, she adopts a negative inner dialogue in her mind and eventually begins to believe the lies, resulting in a lower perception about herself that is not true.
The main problem with creating a reality like this, is that once we do so, we are no longer objective. (the “O” in CORE). In most instances, we then become self-sabotaging. We begin to tap into negative emotions like doubt, fear, impatience and discouragement, all in the name of not wanting to be labeled conceited! As a result, even if we are able to hit many notes and sing well, we don’t feel good about it and we’re not empowered as singers because we are creating and reinforcing dis-empowering neural-pathways in our brain. In simple terms, we can think of neural-pathways as “muscle memory” between the brain and nervous system. In order for us to be empowered it is important for us to create positive muscle memory in our physical body, and our minds when we sing.
YOUR CONFIDENCE DEPENDS ON YOUR INNER DIALOGUE
Surprisingly, over the past 24 years of working in the music industry, I have noticed one thing in common with more than 90% of singers: None of them are OBJECTIVE. In other words, they’re not able to observe themselves without judgement or bias. This is because science shows our brains are naturally wired to notice the negative. Notice how you think after you sing. Do you usually think, “Oh, that was amazing. My pitch was on, and I felt like I was just great!” Or do you usually say, “Dang. I could have done that better. I forgot the lyrics on that part and…”
You know the story. Unfortunately, this lack of “objectivity” and only focusing on the negative leads to a stream of problems along the road of dis-empowerment. Unlike playing a sport, singing is directly connected to your emotions, so if you tell yourselves you’re terrible, it will affect the underlying current of how you sound. On the other hand, if you really are a struggling singer, you want a truthful idea of where you stand.
The question is: how do you become objective?
3 WAYS TO BECOME an OBJECTIVE SINGER
1. Record yourself singing.
If you’re the kind of person who usually listens to and belittles yourself while singing, let the recorder be your ears, and when you listen back, notice what you LIKE ABOUT YOUR VOICE. Chances are, you’ve already tried noticing what you don’t like. Is that working for you? When you hear what you don’t like, don’t judge it. Just notice it and trust that it will get better with your practice, practice and positive persistence.
Adopt this empowering behavior during your vocal practice and always balance your practice in two ways:
a) Get the vocal technique correct (left brain – physical muscle memory) b) Surrender to the feeling and message (right brain – mental/emotional muscle memory)
Getting advice from a family member doesn’t always cut it. In most cases, they will either rip you to shreds because they know you, or tell you that you are incredible, because they know you. Either way, it’s best to go to someone who does NOT know you, but knows how to recognize your talent in an objective way. From this expert, you can learn how to KNOW your voice and become objective.
3. Practice Authentic Self Love.
This is the key ingredient to empowered singing, and the hardest for most people to do. If you can give yourself “permission to be who I am NOW” (Dot’s Peaceful Agreement #1) and simply love who you presently are, then you will feel safe enough to face the parts of your voice that are great, AND the parts that are not so great. From this OBJECTIVE space, you can build your voice without falling into the self-sabotaging traps that many singers do fall into. If you are truly confident, people will not accuse you of being conceited, because you are authentically aligned with who you really are. A person who is authentic is respected.
Most of us have to work hard to get to the place where we feel that authentic self love on the inside. Once we feel this, we create positive neural-pathways in our brain that support empowered vocal practice and a powerful performance.
It’s easy to talk about how we “should” be, but it’s a whole new thing to put to practice. My challenge to you, in order to help you have a more objective perspective about your voice and fall in love with it, is that beginning NOW, write down three things you love an appreciate about yourself every morning for the next 30 days in your CORE Vocal Power Journal. Learn to make friends with the parts of yourself that aren’t perfect, and watch what happens the next time you need to perform!
Committing to the Song’s Message Have you ever felt like you weren’t in control when you were singing? In Part 1 of this video series, I gave you an assignment: Write down your daily tasks. Next to your tasks, write down the feeling you’d like to have (examples: patient, kind, loving). We called this your Intention, or “feeling/tone” of your day. Today we’ll call this “feeling/tone” your “Emotional Objective.” At the end of the day, you were to review the tasks you completed, and make sure to notice whether or not you honored (or were aligned with) your emotional objective. The point of this assignment was to make you more aware. I’d like you to be aware of not just WHAT you do, but HOW you do it. During your day, you can practice becoming more committed to how you would like to feel. This skill will help you sing better and get out of your head and into the heart and soul of the message! If you’re an actor, or speaker can you also see how this will help you be more authentic in your delivery?
How Do You Want To Feel When You Sing?
It’s very important to practice your song and know it so well that you can sing it in your sleep – forwards and backwards! To name a few basics, you need to be comfortable with the lyrics, key of song, phrasing, melody, and know how to make it your own. Many people do these things very well, but still doubt themselves and as a result, appear as mechanical singers, even though they are completely capable of singing. This is because their INTENTION is not an Emotional objective, but one of trying to control, manage or fix how their voice sounds. When one only focuses on a Physical Objective, they are fighting a losing battle.
Rather than feeling worried about being perfect or trying to control your voice, simply set an Emotional Objective or intention before you sing a song. Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel as I sing this song?” It doesn’t matter what your answer is, just COMMIT to it, and TRUST that you’ll convey it. The audience will receive it however they like, that part is beyond your control. When you focus on a message or idea while singing the song, the delivery will be much more powerful. That is why some of our favorite singers are not “pitch perfect,” but we love them anyway, because they are real, authentic, committed singers, and we FEEL them.
Now, I did not say “In addition to focusing on getting all the right pitches and having a physical objective, you should also have an emotional objective.” That is way too much micromanaging of your voice, which is prone to overwhelming you. What I did say was to do the following:
1. Let go of wanting to manage, fix or control your voice.
2. Learn your song inside and out.
3. Think about what the song means to you
4. Choose an emotional objective
5. Commit to the emotional objective while singing the song.
#1 Vocal Tip: Be Present When You Sing!
Being completely PRESENT is the BEST way to deliver a song! If it’s hard for you to be present, be sure to have an emotional objective. Train your brain to be focused and present, and your message will always be clear and powerful!
One of the most popular questions my students ask me, is how to warm up their voice so they do not hurt themselves. There are many techniques a person can do, including the exercises in my CORE Vocal Power Bundle, but if you want to get the most out of your vocal warm ups, the location of where you sing is also an important factor to consider. Oftentimes, singers are afraid that other people will hear them when they practice. If you think about it, that kind of fear is ironic, because eventually, you want people to hear you sing – right? Being outside is great because most people won’t be paying much attention to you but they will still be in your vicinity.
When it comes to warming up your voice, it’s important to consider your whole instrument [MIND, SOUL, BODY] which means your vocal technique, and also what your MIND is thinking and how comfortable you feel in your SOUL. Most people don’t practice the latter two, yet when it boils down to it – you could learn the best vocal exercises the world has to offer and practice them daily with diligence, but if you are not comfortable in the present moment with yourself, feel too sensitive around other people’s energy, or are afraid to come out of your shell, then it won’t matter.
I’d like to share 3 unique tips with you that will help you warm up in the most beneficial ways, which will build your stage presence, power and stamina.
1. HAVE FUN WHEN YOU PRACTICE AND DON’T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY!
In the video above, I’ve got a scarf around my head and I’m doing something I enjoy – riding a bicycle! Even though there are people around me, I don’t care because I’m having fun, and allowing myself to just be me while I do my favorite goofy looking vocal exercise – LIP TRILLS! I’m actually practicing feeling comfortable in a public setting, and guess what – it’s building my confidence and helping me to realize we’re all in it together as we all ride down the same path. What a great low-risk healthy way to practice building stage presence! I’m not just visualizing performing, or thinking about it, I’m out and about with people, doing it in public. Yep.
2. SING OUTSIDE AND ENJOY NATURE
Have you ever been to a concert outside, or performed outside? It’s much different from singing inside, isn’t it? You can’t hear yourself as well and there is so much more stimuli to distract you. That means, if you practice outside, you have to show up more in your own energy, embody your tone more [which means you may need to be more grounded and sing louder] and develop better focus. In addition, if it’s sunny you can increase your endorphins and serotonin in the brain while getting some awesome physical exercise. [Fair ones, remember your sunscreen]. Performing indoors on a stage is like a piece of cake once you overcome the challenges of practicing outside, and grow from the benefits.
3. MULTI-TASKING SINGING WITH A GENTLE PHYSICAL EXERCISE CAN HELP YOU TRUST YOUR VOICE MORE AND GET YOU OUT OF YOUR SHELL
You may have seen my hula hoop video in the past, encouraging singers to burn calories while they sing. Hula hooping for 8 minutes allows you to burn the same amount of calories as running or walking 1 mile. Riding a bicycle is also great because it builds muscle tone and stamina. It also reduces stress. I don’t think I know of a performer who doesn’t need more stamina and less stress! And when you sing at the same time as you gently work out, you’re not so focused on your voice, and being perfect, which actually allows more freedom in your instrument, less tension, and more of a chance to do it right! You’re naturally developing the wiring you need to become a confident performer.
Putting it to practice: In a perfect world, I would recommend you warm up and/or practice for precision and use a mirror when needed about half of the time, until you know you are doing the exercises safely. Then, I would recommend you spend the other half of the time singing outside, enjoying your connection to yourself, nature and other people. Once you become masterful at warming up, you can spend more time outside in the sun! Remember, a minimum of 15 minutes per day for a vocal warm up. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
